Malusdomesticaphobia
Her therapist tried, but failed.
In her later years, Snow White suffered
from malusdomesticaphobia, or
the unnatural fear of apples. The Prince
had long ago babbled himself into senility,
leaving her to purge the kingdom
herself. She ordered
orchards burnt,
fruit stands repossessed, and pies
tasted before reaching her table
by a blind servant she’d never cared for.
To be on the safe side, she also banned tomatoes
which, when she squinted, sort of resembled
an apple, and potatoes, because their French name
translated into “apple of the earth” and that
was close enough for her.
Which just goes to show
that, after all the happilys, the evers, and the afters,
fairy tale characters are just as screwed up
as the rest of us.
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